Inside India’s hidden crisis: when marriage becomes a license for rape

Why survivors say marriage did not protect them

I cannot forget the words of a 21‑year‑old survivor who said her husband told her, “You are my property now.” She was married at 18. On her wedding night, he forced sex on her. It did not stop there. She says it happened many times a day. Her in‑laws could hear what was happening through thin walls, but no one intervened. Her story is not rare. It is just rarely spoken aloud.

Another woman, now 33, said she endured more than a decade of forced sex, threats, and fear before she escaped with her two daughters. She kept saying no. He never listened. When she looked for help, people told her, “You’re married. This is normal.” That sentence alone shows how deeply our society has normalised sexual violence inside marriage.

As I read and speak with counsellors and activists, a hard truth stands out: very few survivors of marital rape come forward. Shame, family pressure, and the belief that a husband “has rights” over a wife keep women silent. Counsellor Monika Tiwary in Delhi says she has worked with sexual assault survivors for years but can count on one hand the women who reported repeated rape by their husbands. Most endure in silence.

India’s law helps keep that silence. Under current rules, if a husband forces sex on his wife who is 18 or older, it is not legally treated as rape. This gap sends a dangerous social message: consent stops at marriage.

The law must change if India is serious about women’s safety

Women’s groups, including the All India Democratic Women’s Association (AIDWA), have been fighting in court to end the marital rape exception. They argue that women are not appendages of fathers, husbands, or sons. They are individuals with bodily autonomy. I agree. Without recognising consent inside marriage, our justice system treats wives as second‑class citizens.

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The debate is now before India’s Supreme Court after a split verdict in 2022 on the legality of marital rape immunity. The central government has filed an affidavit arguing that criminalising marital rape would be “excessively harsh,” could disturb marriage as an institution, and that other legal protections are “sufficient.” But if protections were really working, why are so many survivors still trapped?

Data adds urgency. The National Crime Records Bureau reports a rape every 16 minutes in India. Activists say actual numbers are far higher because most women never file complaints—especially against husbands. The National Family Health Survey suggests a woman is far more likely to face sexual violence from her husband than from anyone else. More than one‑third of married women reported physical, sexual, or emotional spousal violence; about six percent reported sexual assault by their husbands. These aren’t small margins. They are a national warning.

We have been here before. The 2012 Delhi gang rape shook the country and led to tougher rape laws. But those reforms stopped at the bedroom door. Now, after the rape and killing of a trainee doctor in Kolkata triggered nationwide protests and even a doctors’ strike for better safety, India again stands at a tipping point. Will we act only when violence is public and brutal? Or will we finally face the violence hidden in homes?

I believe criminalising marital rape will not destroy marriage. It will strengthen it—by making consent central, not optional. Healthy marriages are built on trust, not fear. Law shapes culture. When the law says forced sex in marriage is acceptable, society copies that message. When the law says consent matters—even between spouses—it opens space for change, counselling, accountability, and dignity.

Women leaving abusive marriages are not trying to “break families.” They are trying to stay alive. Many, like the young survivor who now dreams of becoming a makeup artist, are rebuilding their lives after trauma. India owes them more than sympathy. India owes them justice.

If India wants to protect women, it must start inside the home. Recognise marital rape. Make consent the law. Give women the right to say no—even in marriage.